Hope this post finds you well :)

BUT I am not well now. I am going to curse and swear, so be prepared. You can choose not to read whatever that follows.

Do parent's always say things without thinking? I was told that I am 21 and I can choose to leave the house and go outside to live on my own. Do they know how hurtful this sentence is? Maybe I should talk about how this sentence even came out of her mouth. I had a pile of unwashed clothes, and she said she don't like to see that. At this hour, she 'talk' at the top of her voice about such minute things. Why didn't I wash them up? Don't I have to go to school? Isn't my exams coming? They asked me when are my exams for so many times before, I told them the same answer whenever they ask. Yet, they are still asking me to go here and go there, do this and do that. Other full time students outside are studying and enjoying their time with friends at this age. So what if I am already 21? 21 not human isit? 21 not their child anymore isit? 21 means I have to still do whatever they want me to do isit? BUT I know, she just told me one thing, 21 means I can move out of the house. Thanks alot. You know what? Sometimes she really make me feel like getting out of her sight for good. I bet one day if I die, she won't shed a tear cos she can finally stop nagging at me for my unwashed clothes and other housework that are not done and that I don't know why, there are 3 young people in the family but one always stays at the hostel and only come back on weekends to study and the other, helps a little, yet only those at home have to endure her screeching voice on nights that she throws her tantrum. I will make sure that one day, she will regret the sentence that she just said. The funny thing is she wants us to work, when I am in my final year, and both my siblings are FULL-time students. Don't be a joke can? I know you always say that I spend a lot, but during the times when I don't spend and the times when I didn't ask you for money, do you even care if I have enough money to survive? I bet you are just too busy with yourself. Only when I ask you for money then you will start all those nagging about where my money went, start saying that I always buy things, etc etc etc. Enough la, you want me to graduate, yet you want me to work. For what? Do you even care why sometimes I am the only one helping you out when you need help? Do you even care if I have time for my studies and if I am facing any difficulties in my studies? If you cared, why didn't I see it? If you even bothered, would you even say those hurtful things without thinking about how I would feel after hearing all that. You said you don't like my attitude. Fine. I tried to change. I tried to simmer down whenever I want to blow up. But it is the way that you shouted at me that caused me to give you all that shity attitude cos i think your tone deserves it. Blame it on communication, wtf. The only reason that I wanted to change my attitude towards you is cos one night, I dreamt that you passed away. I cried in my sleep till I woke up. Cos I won't know what to do if you are really gone. Sometimes you gave me precious advices which I treasure very much. Some friends around me don't even have their mothers to go to when they need advise and help. That made me realise how much you mean to me and made me decide to treat you better. Yet, you doubt me, you always thinks that other people's kids are better than your own children, you always like to compare us with them. Go and make them your own children if you are so unhappy with us. Now, saying another word to you is like a waste of my energy.

I am sorry that you guys have to read the above paragraph. I just need an avenue to vent this out.